wlcme 2 shezo's site...

Google - its cool

2005-05-15T20:28:00.000+09:30

seriously funny shit my dad sent me

2005-04-08T22:13:00.000+09:30

HOW TO GET RID OF TELEMARKETEERS

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on
telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.

this thingy i jst stole off lloyds msn space and i'm not gona link it because i can't be stuffed and i am stingy :D

2005-03-15T19:31:00.000+10:30

75 Questions To Answer
COPY N PASTE IN UR BLOG

1.Copy and Paste in your blog
2. BOLD anything true
3. Leave plain anything untrue
4. Italic if you are not sure (i added this bit in)

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own lots of books.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I’ve tried marijuana.
009. I have seen porn.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I believe honesty is the best policy.
013. I have acne free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I’ve been tld I have a nice butt.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
(where the fuck is numba 21??)
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I’m paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now. (but don't we all?)
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside Australia.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows. (wtf..?)
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty/hot.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I’m can always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I think that I’m popular.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex. (not pashed lol just on cheek!)
051. I enjoy talking on the phone. (actually i jst like talking)
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I’m obsessed with my blog!
058. I don’t hate anyone.
059. I’m a pretty good dancer.
060. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington…
061. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a mobile phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I’ve rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future. (long time away!)
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I’ve had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I’m not allergic to anything deadly.

no cricket for me :(

2005-02-06T12:00:00.000+10:30

you see i hurt my back during training and so on saturday wen we were versing tc i didn't want to play jst in case i hurt my back more. neway it was a close game and the pitch was so incredibly bad it was ridiculous. the sand that was on the outskirts of the pitch was better than the actual one. it was basically lawn mowed grass. the movement o the pitch was also ridiculous. there was one bowl were it landed in the middle of the pitch and just rolled. the pitch was so crap that there was no re-bound at all in some areas of it. another ball was going wide off off stump but cut back to go past leg stump. i know it may be hard to believe that there was that much movement but there was.

however the still managed to score about 60 something. this score, even tho it's not very high at all was actually defendable on that pitch. so we bowled really well wen we had like 8 overs left they were like only a few runs away. and wen they were equal with our score with (i think) a few overs left, like abt 3, our bowler bowled a wide and that is hoe they beat us. we were so pissed. neway the bowler was beating himself up over it so we didn't say much abt it.

neway it was really annoying that we got the shit pitch because the 10 B's got the better pitch than us. the surface was actually playable on and there were trees around the boundary so that acted as a windbreaker. we were pretty cut to find out that the 10 B's were more important than the 3rd's mind you overall they are better than us so yeh :S lol

neway that is all i have to update on for now
cyz

first week of school

2005-02-04T21:05:00.000+10:30

well its bin the first week of school and its over well actually i still got cricket tomorrow morning bu tthat dusen't really count seeing as i kind fued my back at cricket training and yeh so i'm not gona bat and i don't bowl neway. and there is this really shit guy that took my place even tho if he ever reads this its probs gona sound mean but seriously thorny, u suk mate

the subjects i'm doing this year are foundies, english, biology, geography, accounting an photography. bio is my heaviest subject this year so in other words its the subject with the most work i goda do. its the same amount of work that we do in year 12 sept that yr 12's only get 3 terms to do it in. so yeh its kinda chocablock. next would be geography. in geo there isn't that uch to do sept its kinda hard to remember all the crap that we needa remember lol

( btw my bro is a gay head)

my nxt heaviest subject would probably be accounting. accounting is jst a bit of work remembering stuff and figuring stuf out thats all. its jst pretty much hard work basically. my next subject is photography. in photography coz its a lot of design work in yr 11 it requires a lot of time but u goda try and cram it in. so wen ur like designing a photo shoot or thinking of wot ur gona do u can't take up that many lessons doing it coz u jst won't have enuf time. then foundies wih satnds for foundations of mathematics. its like a hell piss easy subject coz its mainly a re-cap of yr 10 but into a little more depth in some areas. to give u an idea of wot we have started this term is rounding, estimation and truncating. so yeh its really basic. they say we are reising the basics to make sure we remember that stuff but i rekon they are jst buying time and we also have a test on that crap next friday. its fucking ridiculous i tell ya but i can't so nething abt it lol

the easiest subject i have this year is english. i have a gay ass teacher that i had in yr eght but some of u mite know who he is but i'm not gona mention his name jst in case ... neway yeh we hardly do nething this year. so yeh if your wondering y the hell i noe all of thi crap its coz at wez (i dno abt other schools) we get a syllabus checklist wich tell us everything that we need to do this year i actually think all schools get it now coz its now non compulsary education now and the corriculum coucil controlls everything :S

neway yeh apartfrom all my subjects school was awsome lol

neway that is all i have to report on in my odd life oh yeh and i got a job now at essentials supermarket i work on moday and friday nights. on moday i work 4-7.30 and on fridays i work 5-9 dso yeh its pretty good atm
and that is now all that i have to report on
sountill nxt time i feel like doing this crap,
cyz

nothing really happening atm

2005-01-29T20:04:00.000+10:30

well htere isn't really nething that has been interesting to report in the sporting side of things
mind you serena williams beat lindsay davenport in tennis for the number one position. thats was pretty cool match.

in the first set davenport mudered serena to a 6-2 victory. however just like in the match between molik and davenport the game wasn't over yet!! serena came back to win 6-3. so now it was even and it could go either way to each of the girls playing today. however serena proved to be too much for davenprt by absolutely tearing away to a 6-0 victory giving her her well deserved place of number one.

neway a big match still awaits as lletyon hewitt takes on marat safin. it will be a tough and determined match as each player wants to take home the title for themselves. i really look forward to watching it and i suggest even if ure no the biggest tennis fan then u do so as well.

neway that is all i have to say for now
cyz

AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!

2005-01-27T22:15:00.000+10:30

WELL I DNO ABT SOME OF YOU PEEPS OUT THERE BUT AUSTRALIA FOR ME WAS AWSOME!!!.

{unfortunately for this is a 'G' rated site i am unable to disclose this information. however it was awsome i assure you}

neway as far as australian sport is concerned alicia molik are tennis sensation lost to lindsay davenport in her quarter-final. it was a very close and intense match. in the first set daven[port dominated in a 6-4 lead over molik however in the second it was a different story altogether. molik became used to he style of which dvenport plays and came back to win the second set 6-4 however in the deciding set between them it was very close however davenport having experience on the court at this level of the competition defeat molik 9-7. molik played a strong and intense game of tennis which was fantastic to watch.

i'm not quite sure wot lleyton is up to at them moment but i think he is yet to play his semi-final match against andy roddick. i only know of andy roddick coz of the funniest add for mastercard thats out there atm. its how he wins all of these tennis tornaments and has to carry the trophies on the plane with him but he only booked one seat. and the funniest bit is wen the stewardess manages to cram it into the overhead compartment but it rolls out on smacks him square in the head. lol neway yeh in the end he buys two seats on the return flight.

in the cricket we were versing the west indies. the first time we were scheduled to play them the game was stopped much to our relief coz we were like 5 for 60 something from memory wich is really bad. we only got throo 11 overs and rain forced the match to be abandoned because at least 20 overs must be played to have a result. so the second time round we made 269 off the full 50 overs with 8 wickets lost for the WI's to chase.

brett lee was the man of the match. he also took four wickets including a caught and bowled brian lara for 29 off 38 bowls. gillespie took two wickets and mcgrath, lehmann and hogg took one a peice. the windies were all out for 196 off 44.5 overs, giving us a 73 runs win and 6points.
the umpires for the match were billy bowden (a bloody champ mite i add) and david (i forgot his first name)

i know, for ppl who don't cricket htat must seem like a whole lot of mumbojumbo but you know wot i have to say to that??...... TOUGH TITTIES!!!

neway that is all the interesting sport updated for you to read

untill next time i can be bothered to write this crap for you to enjoy (for free mite i add)
cyz!!

The Australian Open - 100 Years In The Making!!

2005-01-24T22:28:00.000+10:30

usually i never follow ne sort of tennis but for some strange reason i just ended up watching it this time. neway its really good coz now we have lleyton hewitt and alicia molik, our two prime and in form aussies battling it out in the noq quarter finals.

the person that lleyton hewitt is supposed to play is actually not confirmed yet seeing as the winner of the match between some ppl that i can't remember who they are atm. but alicia molik has to play the world womens #1 lindsay davenport. i mean molik is absolutely awsome but i realistically don't think that she will be able to defeat davenport. although she is very strong and davenport may have an off day or something. but neway i rekon molik has done so awsome because she is undefeated at now 12 matches in a row.

and this is a little player overview of Alicia Molik courtesy of the australian open website www.australianopen.com

Australian Opens Played - 7
Best Singles Performance - 4th Round (2004)
Best Doubles Performance - 3rd Round (2002)
Events Entered - Women's Singles Women's Doubles (with Svetlana Kuznetsova)

so yeh i'll see wether i can b stuffed updating this thingy nemore. but i'll try to keep up with the tennis .

its 12.18 in the mornin and i am bored as hell coz i can't sleep

2005-01-04T00:48:00.000+10:30

well
my name pretty much said it all
i cna't sleep and i am listening to my ipod and coz i ws lying in my bed i drifted in and out of sleep so atm my ears are so sore. neway.. i felt like bloggin for some reason

there isn't really much to say except since christmas eve till nw yrs eve i was in bunbury. but i am going with my dad (coz he duz work down there) coz there is nuthin to do in prth atm. neway wen we were down there a family, we went fishin, and crabbin. crabbing was fun sept we didn't catch much coz a lot of the crabs were under size. we also went down to busselton for a day trip as well. we did our fishin there. xcept we didn't catch nething wich suked.so my mum got boreed and went crabbing:S lol there she caught some bigger crabs wich we brought back. that was the monday that the tsunami struck. and there was some wierd tide changes coz of that. wot happened was was that normally at night the tide comes in right but in this case it came in normally then it retreated abt 2 meters back out it was a little freaky but cool and interesting at the same time. neway that night in busselton there was a big lightning storm. we prettymuch stopped our fishing and crabbing and stuff coz of that and it was too dark to see nething. cept the lightning flashes kinda helped i guess.

but yeh neway as we were driving back to bunbury we got to see some of the most spectacular lightning shows i have ever seen. it was really cool but after a while coz it was really dark coz of the cloud cover, the lightning flashes seemed a lot brighter and after lookin at them for a while ur eyes started hurting. because of our failed fshing we didn't have nedinner and i didn't really want to eat just crab for dinner. so when we pulled into hj's for some burgers we heard a lightning crack that we rekon was really close to the car coz it was sooo loud! at first i thought we blew a tyre coz we went throo a puddle of water at the same time so the car lurched a bit. neway as we were coming out of the drive throo we saw a big lightning bolt hit wat we think was a tree or something and there was this shower of sparks. my mum was starting to get paranoid that we were gona get hit by lightning. i wasn't all that worried i thought it was cool :P

so yeh the lightning display was awsome. also wen we were in bunbury coz we had limited things to do during the day me and me bro like went to the beach everyday. sometimes twice a day . ther ewa a few days wen there was an easterly wind blowing so it was flattening the surf and it was really humid. but we still went :P

neway i thought bunbury was cool and i was gona stay there for new yrs but my mum had to go back a few days earlier for work and she didn't want to come back and my dad didn't want to leave her at home y herself for new yrs and my bro wanted to go home so i pretty much had to. but i am going today at like lunchtime. i'm gona go to toy world and get a new scooter to do trix on coz the one i got atm has huge wheels and its a little heavy. me fully sik neighbourino (prawi for those hoo dno) got a new one for chrissie. coz b4 he was using his fully sik bro's.

neway i am the only person i have online atm lol and yes... i did add myself lol
neway this is getting boring coz there is nothing to talk abt and i think my typing jst woke my mum or me fully sik bro beno upso i'm gna "split" and its now 12.48am..

cyz

shut down

2004-12-21T12:26:00.000+10:30

well

i am thingking about shutting down this site coz its starting to get boring and i am kinda sik of doin these tag things newayz

let me know wether you want to have this site continued or you don't likee it and want it gone or u don't care. so have your say in what you think the future of this site is going to be.

cyz

riddle

2004-12-19T10:53:00.000+10:30

why can't u take a picture of an indian woman with hair curlers?

answer (highlight between asterisks) *You can't take a picture with hair curlers you need a camera!*

RIDDLE

2004-12-16T09:02:00.000+10:30

QUESTION: I am long and firm, my head can be wet and hot at the same time; the longer I stand, the shorter I get. What am I?

ANSWER(Highlight space between asterisks): *A candle*

playstation and movies!!

2004-12-14T21:47:00.000+10:30

today..

well today i went to my friend dave herberts house and we played the playstation all day
and as boring as that may sound it was actually pretty fun. we played this tony hawk game, um need for speed underground, james bond, and something else i think but i can't rem it atm.

neway wen we were playin the tony hawk game i wooped until the last two rounds we played i got wooped by dave. but it was wierd coz there was this arena that u could choose nd it was on a ship. and the thing is is that u can actually fall of the side of the ship. and obviously i kept fallin off wich after a while really pissed me off. newya i beat him tonnes before neway.

after that we left his place at like 4:10pm to go and watch "Team America - World Police" wich is an awsome movie. the movie is entirely acted out by like these wooden/plastic (i couldn't tell wot they were) puppets.

so yeh the movie is pretty much amking fun of america and how they "sort of" try to police the world. and wen they go out to try to kill the terrorists rite, they cause more damage by shooting missiles and completly missing their intended target and blowing up the eifle tower for instance.

neway rite the team of 5 ppl who are in this team amerca - world police grou p rite two of them fall in love. and there is this really wierd sex scene where u see the dolls naked doing 'it' in all these different positions wich is so funny and awkward at the same time.

neway it was heaps good and is pretty much jst like the south park movie partly because it was made by the guys who made the south park movie

neway that was my day today...
cyz unill next time

Fully Sik Challenges

2004-12-11T22:53:00.000+10:30

Well, as u mite know me n' my fully sik homie neighbour, Prawi have been doing tonnes of little chalanges and dares with each other. From not cutting our hair for the whole holidays, to not having a shower... yeh we stoped the shower thing cus we were starting to get really stinky and michael had to go out, so yeh. Actually i'll make a list of our attempted things to do for the whole holidays:

Not Cut our hair - we are going good atm but i want one coz it getting annoying.
Not To have a shower - FAIL, because i smelled like shit.
To wear the same clothes - Semi FAIL, we still wear the same pants, but our shirts smelt really bad and started to stain here and there.
Go to the weights room every day - FAIL, couldnt be bothered.
Play Cricket every day - FAIL, couldnt be bothered.
Eat one fast food meal everyday - FAIL, i failed ages ago prawi failed today.

Tommorow we're planning to do one of the hardest challenges we've done.

STAY AWAKE FOR 24 HOURS!!!

yeh, sounds easy doesnt it... u try it out your self. Me n' prawi have had a few attempts and i think the closest we got was 22 hours.

The Plan

Our plan is to wake up at 2 a'clock in the morning and entertain ourselves for a coulple of hours by roaming the empty streets on our scooters. The first four hours are the most funnest and rebelious hours as u get to do wateva u like as no1 is awake and out.

After that my plan is to stay as efficient as possible by laying around at home and watching t.v. This gets really boring after a while but with my great amusing skills, i shud be alrite.
After a couple of hours i can go outside and jus mess around, mayb play sum cricket, and the last 6 hours are the hardest. These 6 hours are your drop off time, if u dont concentrate u'll fall asleep. So my plan is to exercise as much as i can, by doing this i am alert, and its hard to fall asleep after uve done exercise cus u boil in the blankets.

Tip

When in your final hours, DO NOT watch t.v. this is one of the easiest ways to fall asleep unless the movie is like... awesome. Another tip is not to wait in bed... i mean jeez, if u want to sleep u go to bed, and if u dont want to sleep u dont.
So yeh, thats my plan. I think it shud work out.

Warning

I take no responsibily for death or injury if u are goind to try this. By staying awake for long extended periods of time u may start sum health problems or risks.

KIDS... DONT DO THIS AT HOME!!!!!

(btw i stole thsi entire post off prawi coz i was too lazy to write one..)

soccer + bowling = tiredness..

2004-12-09T22:30:00.000+10:30

hey
well yeh at school rite we have this soccer program called the TIS which stands for 'talent identification scheme' its a bit random and it for all the ppl who are good at soccer and for them to get extra training and development on top of school sport. we do things like mid week comps which is cool and we verse random schools like kent st and stuff neway rite we had our first training thing today for next season and for the holidaysand as u guys noe today was like stinking hot and we were absolutely cooking ourselves in the sun.

neway most of the rang'rs got sunburned like pretty bad. i didn't get that bad but i don't get sunburned that easily neway right this thing went on for like ages. it started at 9:30 in the morning and finished at 11:30 in the mornin. so this is two hours of running around in the sun sweating to death. yeh sure we got drink breaks and stuff and most of us wet our t-shirts and hats and stuff but after like 10min of running around again we were dry as a bone. but the trainin was good.

so yeh that was socce rthis morning then i got back home at like 11:45 and watched t.v, had lunch and rested but as the saying goes. 'there is no rest for the wikid' so yeh i had to then e=get ready for bowling. we went to fairlanes ct bowls and that was cool coz inside it was airconditioned so that was nice. we played two games and i WON BOTH OF THE GAMES!! WOO!! there were 6 ppl who went altogether. there was sarah c, macca e, aidan c, callum s, louisa d, and me (of course hehehe) the reason for this unlikely group of friends is that we all went to wesley from year pre-primary till year four (coz that is wen the girls went -- sarah went to penrhos and louisa to PLC) so it was good catching up and swapping old stories.
so yeh it was cool. and it was funne because wen we were bowling rite louisa (not her fault obviously) through the ball into the lane bumper thingy and it rolled over the top of the lane dividers and into the other lane down to the back. lol it was so funny we were all laughin. at least she saw the funny side to it.. ;)

neway l8r on wen i was buying a drink (not that i am complaining) but sarah came up to me and asked me if i wanted to accompany her to the penrhos year 11 ball. i was surprised and happy and (obviously) said yes o yeh. but it was funny coz i didnt even know that there was one lol neway apparently its early on in the term so yhe. i think wesley are having one but i have no idea when neway i think i heard that is was in the middle of the year.

so yeh after the bowling we decided that we were gona go into the ct (coz it was only 4 o'clock)
so yeh we walked all the way from 147 adelaide terrace into hay street :S
neway it was cool coz we got to talk and it chewed up a bit of time. so yeh we went into toys r' us and played around for a bit then we left and stood around and talked a bit. then i had to go to the toilet so we decidee to go to david jones coz apparently they had the best ones and were free (according to sarah and louisa lol) wen we ot there callum and macca realised that they had to leave so they did.
so yeh we went to the perfume section at the front rite and we were looking at them and testing them (well the girls were that is) and then we saw some 'spray-on tan-in-a-bottle' it looked heaps sus so yeh there was a tester bottle so i sprayed some on myself (arm) and it firstly came out as a sparkling green liquid. i was like 'wtf is this??' but then sarah sed ur supposed to sray at a distanceand less so i spread it around a bit and it looked kinda cool. so yeh

i still got a wierd random brown stain on my wrist (no it's not wot ur probs thinking...)

neway we got bored after a whle then louisa had to go so she left. then me aidan and sarah had o fifgure out a way of getting home. we figured that coz aidans dad works around the area, we catch the cat bus to there then he'll give us a lift back to my place then after he comes back and gets aidan and giving sarah a lift home at the same time. so yeh wen we got to my house we played soccer in the bckyrd for a bit and aidan was goalie. and this is like at a three to four yard range we were shooting at aidan (coz he wanted to go ino the goals) so i wasn't kicking it that hard but then he gave me crap for it and he said something like bring it one.. so i did. so there we were aidan in goals shitting himself (well not really but i'd like to think so) sarah laughing and we blasting a size 4 soccer ball at him at like four yards. so yeh it was pretty funny. then we went to my room for a bit and did nothing coz there is like nothing to do at my house neway we jst talked for a bit. then we went to watch t.v.

we were watching seachange for a bit. i didn't like it but sarah and aidan were fans apparently. i honestly h8 that show but woteva.. neway after like 15min or so i nearly fell asleep and decided that i could take it nemore so i decided to change that channel (lol) then we found out that xXx was showing so yeh we watched that for a bit. then my dad came home earlier than i thought and brought home a random toaster that doesn't work lol but neway we kept watching for a bit then we had something to eat.

right u see coz oth of my parents work rite and coz my mum does the cooking in the household when she isn't working rite. when she is working we have this food from these ppl that run like a mini home busness to help ppl out like us. neway i don't really like the food (at all actually) but we don't really have any other choice. neway its ot really the stuff u give to guests ur trying to entertain. neway the food was crap to put it simply lol. so eyh we all had like a bit of rice and piked through the um stuff wen we finished we only watched for a few minites before aidans dad cam to pick them up.

neway that was the end of my fantastic day. lol :^) neway i'm tired and i want to sleep now
so that's all for now untill nxt time
cyz

general update

2004-12-06T17:51:00.000+10:30

well there hasn't been much happening sept today i had rehearsals for speech night and even though i didn't have anythin to do with it this year i went anyway coz me parents were out all day and my bro was going anyway so yeh..

and that's about it so far sept the holidays are officially here to stay!! and i was hinking abt getting a job at red rooster or something and getting a adventure world season pass coz last ime i went so many times..

and the song i am addicted to atm is 'Eye Of The Tiger' by Survivor it is awsome and i'm not gona bother putting the lyrics coz i am lazy...
anway that is all for now untill next time
cyz

the song i am addicted to atm... Mockingbird - EMINEM

2004-11-30T20:27:00.000+10:30

Yeah
I know sometimes things might not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What chu crying about?
You got me..Hailie,

I know you miss your mom
And I know you miss your dad when Im gone
But Im trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see youre sad
Even when you smile
Even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes
Deep inside, you wanna cry
Cuz youre scared
I aint there?
Daddys with you in your prayers
No more crying
Wipe them tears
Daddys here
No more nightmares
We gonna pull together through it
We gon do it Laini,
uncles crazy aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
Were all we got in this world
When it spins
When it swirls
When it whirls
When it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Looking puzzled, in a daze
I know its confusing you
Daddys always on the move
Mamas always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it
But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that the more it backfires on me
All the things, growing up
As daddy that he had to see
Daddy dont want you to see
But you see just as much as me (to see?)
That we did not plan it to be this way
Youre mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I dont see us ever being
Together ever again
Like we used to be when was teenagers
But then of coarse
Everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But its just something
We have no control over
And thats what destiny is
But no more worries
Rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day well wake up
And this will all just be a dream

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby dont you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya, daddys here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommys not here right now and we dont know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise, Mamas gonna be alright

Its funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christamas presents up
and stuck them under the tree
and said some of them were from me
Cos daddy couldnt buy em
Ill never forget that Christmas
I sat up the whole night cryin
Cuz daddy felt like a bum
See dadday had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed or shot up on the block
And your mom, was saving money
For you in a jar trying to start a piggy bank for you
So you can go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars
Till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your mamas heart
And it seemed like everything was just starting to fall apart
Mom and dads was arguing a lot
So mama moved back on the chalmers and the flat
One bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 mile on Novarra
And thats when daddy went to California with his CD
And met Dr. Dre and flew you and Mama out to see me
But daddy had to work
You and mama had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the TV
And mama didnt like it
And you and Laini were too young to understand it
Papa was a rolling stone
mama developed a habit
and it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
Im just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now Im sittin in this empty house, just reminiscin
Looking at your baby pictures it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown
Its almost like your sisters now
Wow, I guess you pretty much are
And daddys still here
Laini, Im talking to you too
Daddys still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
Its got a ring to it, dont it?
Shhh, mamas only gone for the moment

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby dont you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya daddys here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommys not here right now and we dont know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy pretty baby
But I promise
Mamas gonna be alright

And if you ask me to,
Daddys gonna buy you a mocking bird
Ima give you the world
Ima buy a diamond ring for you
Ima sing for you,
Ill do anything for you to see you smile
And if the mockingbird dont sing and the ring dont shine
Ima break that birdys neck
Ill go back to the jeweller who sold it to ya
And make him eat every karat
Dont fuck wit dat.

^ This is an awsome song and it is from an awsome new album ENCORE by EMINEM. It seriously is am album that is worth getting if you are into this sorta stuff. But if you are slack and don't want to then download the song.

work experience!!! and no more school!!

2004-11-30T19:58:00.000+10:30

so yeh as u have probs found out form my title i have no more school this week and i start work experience.

so yeh yesterday was my first day and it was awsome. i'm doin mine at essentials supermarket although the boss like to call it a 'convienience store'. i did pratically nothing and watched cricket the whole day. it was pretty good cuz i started off pricing bags of chips and putting them up then i didn't do nething for a while and watched the cricket and made fun of the kiwi's for getting tonked. even though we didn't make that many runs (like a few hundred i think..) and we got 'em all out today for 200 and a bit. even tho we lost today right. we still (overall) won by 213 runs. so yhe.. in other words the kiwi's suk. and on sunday we got an ODI (one day international) game against them which means another boring day for the ozzies as we flog them...

neway enuf abt the cricket (hehehe) for work exp right for most of the afternoon i was helping this guy that came from the coke company to re-arrange the fridges. that was kinda bporing so i decided to take my lunch break. and yeh then i did some sweeping and i got to leave abt 30min early coz there was no1 in the store lol but all the bloody como and sth prth kida come after school and buy all sorts of lollies and shit to eat so they get fat... : neway yeh..

today i did mainly the same thing sept i only got to watch the cicekt in the morning coz we got the kiwi's out fairly wuick. so the only dissappointing side to it was that i didn't get to watch the cricket :( mind u today i got taught how to use the cash register which was cool. but i found it hard to see the buttons through the rubbery thing on top so sometimes i charge ppl way more than i should've but they didn't complain so neither did i. the only tricky part to it is when ppl are lazy and pay with a key card, credit card or eftpos card coz then i goda rem how to use the rfreakin card mahine thing and it kept rejecting cards so i had to swipe the bloody thing likea million times. it kept showing up " Failure to recognise card. Please try again " after a while i got pissed and wacked the thing and the cuztomer was like 'hey watch my card!!' theni got embarrassed and my bozz came over and showed me how to do it and aparently i was holding the thing the rong way round. (stupid peice of crap machine) neway in the end i got through it all.

all in all today seriously beat school anyday..

busy 48 hours....

2004-11-27T20:16:00.000+10:30

this is probs gona be a long post but oh wellz

so yeh the last 48 hours for me have been pretty interesting and tiring. you see friday was the last school for me coz i got work experience next wekk for the last week of school neway i went round to me mates house (jona ed) and we stuffeda aound and trained for the next big boxing match we are having. i'm supposed to be in one of the fights its the AZN vs WOG fight so me, peter eley and pastuer tran and going to (try) and verse aidan carter, seb soldo and some other guy form aquinas. so yeh the AZN team is gona get wooped. neway i came back to my house and had dinner then prawi's dad sed dat he was having a birthday party for some frieds and wondered if we wwanted to come. so our family went and yeh. we watched t.v. and went on msn for a bit. then one of the guests works at birswood casino and he has a mini roulette game so we were all playing that ourside. then it started to rain so we moved inside. then we decided that we would play with money. i didn't have any money on me but this lady next to me gave me a few of her tokens so yeh neway that night i had such bad luck. everything i bet on was crap so yhe. usually i am not that bad at gambling but my luck wasn't with me tonight. prawi's mum did the best she won heaps.

neway this games then continued till the early hours of the morning. till like 1:30 then me and prawi decided to go to sleep and coz i was lazy i decided that i would stay at his place. it was at like 5 in the morning wen i decided that i wanted my own bed so i quietly slipped outside (nearly steipping on bronch {prawi's dog}) and i tried to jump the fence. but u see after like 3.5 hours of sleep i wassn't concentrating as i was doing this and i fell over the fence and into my mums garden. so i spent like 10 min fixing it up. then i dragged myself and went to wash my hands. in doing this i realised i had lil cuts in my hands that were stinging. neway i got changed and fell asleep straight away.

then like 4 hours later i was woken up by my dad saying that i had to go with my mum to this second hand book selling thing for second hand school books and yeh. so that was kinda boring. neway for a while i didn't do nething the whole day then me prawi, me bro and prawi's bro decided that we wanted to go to the cricket nets at school so yhe. we played for like ages but shane left early coz i think he was tired. so yeh we played for a few hours then we went for a swim in the wez pool for about 1.5 hours so yeh then we came back home and had dinner. so atm i am like so tired and i can barely write all this crap but yeh..

newayz that was he beginning of my holidays well not really coz i still got work experience but i guess i'd rather be doin that than being stuck in school and i get aircon for the whole day not jst wen i have science coz at wez our science and our new dt centre are new buildings so they get airson and the rest of the school has to deal with fans neway that's besides the point i don't have
neway
cyz

long time no posting

2004-11-23T17:20:00.000+10:30

hey
sry peeps i have decided to do another post and try to continue posting due to popular demand and.. i am trying to prolong not doing my legal studies assignment which i have to complete a 1000 word essay on animal rights and wethere they should have any or not so yeh although we chose the subjects ourelves its still boring as hell.

so yeh not that much has been happening to me lately but i did fail my math exam for wich i got 40% on which kinda suked but for the last normal test i got 76% so yeh not too bad.

um well, uhhhh there obviously has been the usual thing sduring the w/e wen me and me homy prawi hang out on the weekend doing stupid things and getting hurt, speaking of which last w\e i made a glove gun right and coz the crows around my neighbourhood were making so much GOD DAMN FUCKING noise, i decided to team up with the cats of the neighbourhood and get them i was using honky nuts for ammo seeing as i didn' want to tear the rubber with rocks and i didn't have any that were good size, so yeh i shot one and it went nuts, i freaked out as it flew like right next to my face and fell off the fence into prawi's bush (sry prawi) but i fixed the bush so u can hardly see that i landed there oh and btw prawi was in yallingup at this time coz he got ppl over at his house living there for a few eeks so yeh

and i guess something else that is cool is that i got our team top score in cricket. i made 27 runs and in that i hit 4 four's so i rekon that is a pretty good effort from my previous games which went:
1) the first game i opened the batting and faced first ball. i'm not complaining but i couldn't see through the fuckin grill on the helmet and the first ball and i made a lucky guess and hit it fairly ood next ball i go bowled clean bowl

2) this game i didn't even get to bat so all i did was field and sit down watching other ppl bat

3) this game really sucked coz i was feeloing hell good and i wanted to go and score like tonnes of runs and the thing was was that in the third over i was in, i got run out by my other batsman coz he is shit and he said YES! to make a run and he didn't committ so there i was in the middle of the pitch, i turned around and saw my wickets go. i was so pissed. neway......

4) and this was the game that i broke my pb from last season (wich was liek 7 btw) by tonnes..

so yeh i think i mite go and think for a while about wot i can rite....

(20min later)

well i am back and i have written the introduction and the first half of the first body paragrap for my essay... and i have nothing else to talk about so yeh...
cyz

camp

2004-10-24T21:37:00.000+09:30

hey peeps

on fri da 15th of oct i left for the pilbara at 7:00 at night. it took us a total of 23 hours to get to where we needed to be first up to start our journey throo the gorges. we had a brekky break at minilya and then we camped near hamersly gorge by this tiem it is saturday night coz the bus trip was overnight.

on sunday the 17th we spent a full day in hamersly gorge. there we practiced climbing and stuff. that night we camped at the river crossing near tom price.

on mon 18th we went to tom price town centre. there, we went to the shops and swam at the local rec centre. then we traveled and set up camp at savannah near joffre falls.

on tues we hiked in and around joffre and we had to do this big jump of this rock where its like 15m up in the air into the water (obviously) it was hell scary but everyone had to do it . we hiked and paddled on inflatable air beds wich was hard work coz we had to carry backpacks full of camping equipment, food, water and our sleeping and althought it dosen't sound like much it all adds up to quite a bit. we went throo junction pool and climbed out of weano gorge and camped.

on wed we went into hancock gorge and paddled and hiked throo there into red gorge where we camped for the night.

on thurs we hiked from red gorge throo to snell gorge there we went to swim at handrail pool. then we traveled by coach to dales gorge where we camped.

friday we explored dales gorg, circular pool, fortescue falls and fern pool. then we went to newman caravan park where we slept fr the night.

on sat we went took the newman mine tour (which was boringly educational) then we went to meekatharra where we got a really nice refreshing shower then we drove overnight to perth.

we got back sunday morning at 6:30 but we had to put away equipment and stuff which took abt half an hour.

so yeh that is pretty much wot we did on camp for the week, the scenery and everything was just incredible if you have lived in the city all ur life. i haven't bin that far up north before so it was a hell good expeirence. i rekon the best bit was travelling throo the gorges on airbeds but it was also the hardest wit thos heavy packs but yeh i suggest those of you who are going to get the opportunity to go there next year or the year after, i seriously suggest that u try and get into the pilbara tour. because it is just so awsome the whole thing and everythin that you get to do. and if ur a photographer, the scenery just yells at you to take photos (*metaphorically speaking that is)

anway it is late and i got school tomorrow wich SUX! big time mind you i only get 5 weeks this term coz i missed one because of camp and one for work expeirence. so yeh but i got math exam and an major english assessment wich i am NOT looking forward to btw

anyway cyz!!

Mia

2004-10-12T15:04:00.000+09:30

hey peeps

if you know this chik (yr 9 penrhos) plz tell her that she is not fat or ugly she having this..thing anyway peeps be a good friend and tell her that she isn't and that she dosen't have to worry abt a thing she is just great the way she is..

so be noice and make her feel better, u'll probs feel better as well urself..

song i'm addicted to atm --> She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

2004-10-12T15:01:00.000+09:30

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
Ive had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I dont mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesnt matter anymore

Its not always rainbows and butterflies
Its compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my doors always open
You can come anytime you want

I dont mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

royal show horror

2004-10-07T08:39:00.000+09:30

today
me prawi and some friends went to the royal show and u may have heard this already on the news but on the ride where there are chairs are connected to chains and they hang loosely and then the thingy at the top spins around and then you sitting in the chair go around. i have been on this ride before and it is a lot of fun however because today was quite windy and stuff the chairs when the ride was one got blown together by a strong gust of wind all of the kids on the ride were crying and there was one girl where she got her leg tangled up in the chains quite badly and coz the ride couldn't be stopped straight away the chains probably got pulled and the chains cut into her shin. there was a huge slice into her flesh on the top of her shin. the gurl wan't actually crying at first because i think that she was in shock about what was actually happening but what wos kind of amusing was that the girl who was hurt wasn't crying or anything but the sister was going nuts i guess it isn't really funny just unusual that's all.
i think that that was the worst of the injuries which was good. later on to my surprise the ride was back on and running well. and obviously that wasn';t enough to stop other kids having a go..

so yeh it was pretty awful to see that happen to all of those kids because all of them were aged form abt 5 through to 13/14 and there was also a mum who fainted and collapsed after the ride stopped.. i think that is the most greusome thing i have seen in real life..

i just thought that these were cool....

2004-10-06T10:13:00.000+09:30

politically correct ways to say someone is stupid.

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.T
he cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
how many angels could dance on his head?

BOXING!!

2004-10-02T12:39:00.000+09:30

you see me, david h, jon ed and aidan c decided that we should have a boxing match between jon and aidan i can't really remember wot really posessed us to decide this but yeh we did so we decided that we were gona hav it in jon's shed and i am going round to hi house on sat to help set up and stuff. as for me and david we agreed that david was going to be aidan's manager and trainer and i was going to be jon's so yeh at the mo we really haven't done much i have given a total of 60 push up's over 2 days to do i was going to chase him on my bike after he finished work one night as a fitness training thingy but i couldn't be stuffed plus it was kinda rainy outside... so we decided to do it one the first saturday of the hols..(not the day after we leave tho) but then i realised that we are actually holding it on the election day... lucky we don't vote yet..

anyway yeh it's gonna be so awsome coz it's gonna be full pro style and we gona have like interviews of jon and aidan before we have the fight and we gona stage it so it looks like its like reall and they actually do this often and we going to have it like the WWE how the guys have theme songs and stuff and we gonna get girls to do the thing in the middle of the ring where they hold up the board saying wot round it is and stuff and we gona try o get some sort of crowd there and we gona get people to place bets on who they rekon is goin to win and we going to use the money raised to get better stuff for next time we wana do something like this so yeh its going to be so awsome..

anyway i'll update next week to tell you guys on how everything went and wether it went ahead at all...

prawi is going to kill me....eep!

2004-10-02T11:42:00.000+09:30

well as you have read before (or not..read below this post) the many times that i have nearly killed prawi (totally by accident of course...) prawi is now set out to avenge hi hurt joints...he actually has a cut for everytime that he has fallen off his cotter in the past two weekends which is four anyway ..yeh.. he is trying to kill me he kind of got me this afternoon when i was trying to scoot with no hands but leaning against the handle bars to hold them straight then prawi cam up from behind me and stepped on the brake and naturally i went flying forward but thanx to my lightning reflexes (that come in handy when i play slips in cricket) i didn't fall flat on my face and regained my balance within a few seconds

so yeh i guess wot i am trying to say is stay away from prawi when you are on a cotter coz he may fall over then blame it on you....hehehe

the day i nearly killed prawi...again...

2004-10-02T00:10:00.000+09:30

well you see

it's wednesday arvo and we just came back from cricket training.(i was watching) and yeh so we came back and my bro was ouside we just started talking abt stuff they just sat on the wall and i was bpowling to the wall that they were sitting on and then i decided to go for a fast one...prawi saw me doing my run up and he started shouting noooO!!!! but i ignored him and i kept going..

you see i was planning on bouncing the ball so it would miss the garden edging and rocks and shit they got in their garden and bounce up onto the wall and back down but the bricks in front were mossy and kinda dampish and yeh i forgot about that so when i bowled the bounce didn't really happen and it went hell fast...prawi did the normal flinch thing where you cover your face with your hands and yeh so the ball was going hell fast hit the ground..kept low.. hit the garden edging..then the rocks...then up into he air right next to prawi's face..but coz he had his hands in the way it hit his wrist and if that hadn't bin there he would be rooted...anyway so yeh he was part laughing coz it was so funny but laughing out of pain and hysteria that he was so lucky...

so yeh don't play with cricket balls on mossy bricks...

psycho guy in a car

2004-09-28T13:02:00.000+09:30

see what happened was that me prawi and ben were just mucking around on our scooter when coz on our street there are always these people who see how fast they can go from island to island anyway prawi dosen't like these people so as this guy was speeding past he gave them the finger

they then screeched to a holt just before the end of our street and then switched into reverse at like 1,000,000 kph and then lost control of the steering ans skidded into a tree. the guy lost half of his bumper and the right indicater light. it was so funny me ben and prawi were cracking up laughin and then the drove of quickly because they were embarrassed, angry and didn't want to be seen by the owner of the house (even thought it's just an old lady)

so yeh we went to scavenge little remains as memento's of the accident i took the half bumper and put it in a stove that someone left outside for rubbish collection and my bro and prawi took like bits of the plastic bumper, brkn off shrapnel and bits of the indicator light

sp yeh the moral of the story is to not put ur finger up and racing speeding cars and for the racing speeding people in the car...reverse slowly next time... (dumb ass)...

the day i nearly killed prawi

2004-09-28T12:08:00.000+09:30

well you see it all started out at lunch see i went inside to have lunch and then i had it but then afterwards i was still hungry so i went to prawi's house (next door to mine) and had some noodles

anyway after that i was still hungry so i decided to go to the shop so my bro (ben) and prawi came with me for the hell of it so yeh as we were scooting down to the shops, i was swerving in front of prawi trying to put him off as a joke but then he ended up moving off the egde of the footpath and into the grass his front wheel bogged into the sand and he flew up into the air and then he flew back down into the concrete

i then stopped quickly and ran back but then i tripped over him and landed beside him and in the mean time ben was just standing there laughin his head off anyway.. i moaned back to him...'is the ipod okay?' (because he was listening to his ipod on the way there) and then he goes "yeh i think so" then i go over to him and inspect his ipod then i say 'thank god it's still okay' andway then he told me to turbn the ipod off

so the moral of this story is that never go to the shops with an ipod in your ipod because you jsut might fall off and ruin it and then it's $500 odd dollars down the drain unless of course that you are a rich bastard and can afford like ten then i don't really care..................
anyway cyz

p.s. for other versions of this story feel free to go to prawi's website -->
www.prawn-star.blogspot.com
or my brother's -->
www.the-real-bennyboy.blogspot.com

atheletics carnival!

2004-09-04T10:16:00.000+09:30

hey today was the athelitic carnival for senior school and the year eights it was so good there was heaps of events to do and it was really cool watching all the diferent stuff. i was in the triple jump (1st div), the 3000m (3k), 400m, the 1500m and the relay. but i didn't run the relay cuz 1. i was nackered and 2. my friend wanted to do it anyway cuz he was like only in two events i think so yeh..

in the triple jump we got three goes the first one i did i screwed it up cuz i wasn't running proper and i stuffed up the sequence (hop, step, jump) and yeh i didn't think i was going to make it to the sand anyway :S so yeh the secnd jump i got i made 8m 55cm which isn't bad for me since this is like the first time since year eight and on the lat jump i only made 8m 50cm so yeh and oddly enough the first jump i made i started on my left foot and on the last i started with my right cuz i felt better dong it on may right but i proved myself rong.. btw i came last.. :(

in the 3k event i did heaps good because it was an open avent and so i was running against year elevens and tweves and one other guy in my year.. the distance added up to 7.5 laps of rossiter oval so yeh.. i ended up finishing in like 15 min something so that's pretty good i reckon.. i placed eighth out of sixteen competitors mind you i beat the guy in my year as well..

in the 400m event i really screwed it up cuz i was really nackered from the 3k but i did it anyway and coz i am more of a long distance runner than a sprinter so i came second last in second div which really suked i think my time was abt 1min 10 or sumthing..

for my last event of the day was 1500m .. i rekon i did not that bad considering what i had to run proir to this anyway i finished 5th or 6th out of 16.. i think i saw my time to be around about 6 -7min something which isn't bad man at this time i was starting to shake (well my legs were) from like the heat and all the fricken running..

in the end i did 12.5 laps of rossiter the whole day.. tiring is probs the only word tht comes to mind when i look back on the days work.. :S

re-setting everything on my comp

2004-09-03T13:40:00.000+09:30

hey
lately my comp had been like running like hell slow and it took like ages for msn to work proper it was like when i typed sumthing rite and pressed enter it took like 30sec to get to the convo and this really pissed me off so what me and my dad's solution was was to re install everything on the comp which means EVERYTHING so yeh i had to backup all of the my music and evrything and that came to about 1.6 giga bytes which isn't that much cuz i didn't inclde the songs that i ripped from my cd's anyway rite i did that so as you guys know i have and ipod and witht he ipod comes this program that allows you to organise and make playlists on ur ipod and you can have song rating (out of 5 stars) and play counts rite so now i have to organise all that shit all over again.. :S anyway spo like for the last 5 -> 6 hours i have been ripping all of my songs back off my cd's which was like 80 so you can see my it took so long not to mention re cumtimising all the shit on my comp anyway at the moment i am waiting for my eminem cd to finish...........well it' s finished now so i godda put them into my folders and shit..

i thought i rite a post on this because there isn't really anything else to rite on because i can't be fuked ritin about wot i do everyday...

stacked it on the scooter

2004-08-28T06:37:00.000+09:30

today was funny coz me an me neighbour prawi we were just like stuffin around on our scooters wen i was just wanting to see how far i culd like wheelie but on my front wheel and of course if ne of you hav eva tried that then u'd know how hard it is to do, so i was going good till i saw this little stick in the way i knew that if i hit it that i would fall so i tried my best to try and avoid it but stay balanced however i did avoid it but i lost my balance and stacked it big time..anyway there was this time rite wen prawi was going down this hill like fast and fell over but he had like a few little grazes here and there but i was virtually not moving (well very slow) and i have this masive gouge out of my knee so at the moment i am trying not to bleed on my comp so yeh but strangely enuf it dosen't hurt all that much except for like the exact fall apart from thati hav been like fine ..

50 fun things to do in a k-mart

2004-08-23T01:23:00.000+09:30

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling themand stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervalsthroughout the day.
4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all thespray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "Ithink we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them offand turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seenyou in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourselfloud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you aretaking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feetbehind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it andwhen they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others youwill only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from otheraisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. Climb things.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry andsay, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run betweenthem yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are anyin stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scalebattle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly askthe clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic aspossible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme fromMission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me toyour Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the petsection, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look withvarious funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look atsomething, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop toyour knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get outmuch and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

soccer match

2004-08-22T10:56:00.000+09:30

actually to write this blog i have to go back a few years neway my friend tony yeung he used to go my school rite but he lefyt in year 7 and now he lives in hong kong, so every year during his holidays (btw they follow the american calender for school times so they hav hols during the middle of the year) he comes back to well, .. here anyway last night we went out for dinner and it was fun but this morn roite i had school soccer wich was so cool coz we versed scotch college. so after the dinner i was kinda tired and i had to get up early for the game..anyway our school team is like hell crap compared to last year coz all of our realy good guys have gone to tjhe 1st's which is like the top team for wesley so yeh we had to do what we could with our team this year anway we havn't won 1 game this season soi far until today. we drew aainst aquinas and trinity and apart from them we lost every game.. this really sux rite but as a team we have improved like so much since the start of the season so as you may have probly gessed we did win todat for the first time at the end of the season.. we were so happy that we decided to do the ikka bakka (for those who don;t know what the ikka bakka is well its the wesley war cry) and so its sytarts of with one person going .. "ZEEMAHLAH!!!!!!!" and the resyt of the team/group follow saying : "HAH" and so on but i can't be bothered to type it out but if ya want me to leave a tag i'll make a post for it.. s yeh every1 was like kinda embarrassed to start it so i decided to do it and when i went "ZEEMALAH!!" i did the biggest testy pop and it suked but it sounded good from a distance i think (hope) so yeh we are like hell happy for winning today even though it's only scotch :S and to let you know why my typin is a little dodhgey its coz i am typing with one hand coz my mum pulled out all my old modelk planes and heli's and stuff so i am trying to hold the to halves tpogether wit one hand and typoe this shit wit the other and it is like taking forever it hav taken me neatrly 40 min just to type this :S

anyway that's it for me until i report on how my club matchg tomorrow against WESTSIDE...

Fun Things To Do While You're Shopping

2004-08-20T23:35:00.000+09:30

Fun Things To Do While You're Shopping

Get the boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.

Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift wrap.

Put M&M's on layaway.

Move "CAUTION-WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I.Joes and X-Men.

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.

In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream.

61 Fun Things to do in a Jump Plane

2004-08-20T23:32:00.000+09:30

61 Fun Things to do in a Jump Plane

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

Beat out bongo rifts on your helmet.

Unzip your jumpsuit part way, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
One word: Flatulence!

Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the plane hits turbulence.

Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the plane.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can pull their silver handle for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Look around and ask "is that your dytter?"

Say "Announcing the Xth Floor!" each 1000'.

Listen to the plane walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Ask the jumper next to you, "If you burn in into a forest, does it make a sound?".

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Make explosion noises.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

Sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" or "99 bottles of beer on the wall" in round.

After everyone has taken off their seatbelts, connect mismatching pairs in consideration of the next load.

Ask about the in-flight beverage choices, meal, and inflight movie. Insist that you were told a meal would be served when you purchased your ticket.

When jump run is announced, stand up and yell: "But I paid for a round trip ticket!"

Play "enie, menie, miny, moe" while pointing the shiny silver handles of nearby jumpers.

Hum Gregorian chants.

When someone is spotting, point toward the horizon and innocently ask "Is that Mexico?"

Moan, clutch your stomach, mutter "Oh damn, not motion sickness now." Then ask your neighbor if you can borrow his Factory Diver.

When boarding the plane ask if you can have emergency row seating.

After the first person exits, point out the door and exclaim "It's a bird, it's a plane, nah, just another f#$&in' toad."

Cough then mutter "Don't worry the doctor said it can only be spread through physical contact."

Pretend to pick lice out of your neighbors hair then eat them.

Theorize (incorrectly) on why airplanes and square parachutes actually fly.

Bow down and grovel before the local skygod.

Play rock, paper, scissors - if no one will join you, play against yourself using both hands.

Hand out labels that say "Plan B - Part 1" and "Plan B - Part 2" for everyone's cutaway and reserve handles.

Have the other jumpers get the attention of the jumper furthest from you then wave and smile broadly.

Turn to a student and say "Don't worry, the engine sounds _much_ better than it did yesterday."

Sing "Edelweiss".

Say to the jumper across from you, "All is in readiness, Comrade. This time we cannot fail!"
Pick your nose and then hold your finger up to another jumper and ask, "Booger?".

Tell the jumper next to you that skydiving is nothing compared the time when you were pinned down under a deadly hail of Jap fire.

Speak into your altimeter then hold it to your ear and nod your head.

Ask the other passengers in a thick German accent for their tickets.

Shift around as you sit and announce that thongs are overrated.

Talk about the parachute equipment you saw on the Home Shopping Channel.

Sing "Rawhide" as the plane accelerates to takeoff.

Start a petition demanding more altitude.

Repetitively ask, "Are we there yet?"

Tap furtively on the bulkhead and mutter, "Now where's that secret panel?"

Try to hypnotize the jumper across from you.

After you put your goggles on, act surprised, and say hello to the person across from you.

Give the jumper next to you a "Wet-Willy".

When the pilot announces jumprun advise the other jumpers to return their seats and tray tables to the full upright and locked position.

Bring your own joystick and pretend you're flying the plane.

Move your helmet past your neighbor's head and announce, "The Deathstar has cleared the planet".

According to the stories of one of the jet loads at Quincy a couple of years ago...
Solve quadratic equations aloud.

30 Fun Things To Do When Driving

2004-08-20T23:21:00.000+09:30

30 Fun Things To Do When Driving

1.Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2.Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.
3.At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4.Two words: Chicken suit.
5.Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6.Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7.Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
8.Stop at the green lights.
9.Go at the red ones.
10.Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11.Eat food that requires silverware.
12.Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
13.Sing without having the radio on.
14.Honk frequently without motivation.
15.Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
16.Ask people for Grey Poupon.
17.Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18.Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19.Restart your car at every stop light.
20.Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21.Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22.While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
23.Paint your car with occult symbols.
24.Keep at least five cats in the car.
25.Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex.
26.Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for fire trucks.
27.Stop and collect road kill.
28.Stop and pray to road kill.
29.Throw Spam.
30.Get in the fast lane and gradually...slow...down... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars

Fun Things To Do At The Library

2004-08-20T23:15:00.000+09:30

Fun Things To Do At The Library

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.
2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.
3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"
4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like your reading it.
5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"
6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When they says something like "what?", cut them off by saying "Are you accusing me of something?"
7. Read your book. Upside down.
8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.
9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.
10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."
11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it." when he/she looks at you.
12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?"
13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet."
14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (…) and I'm really glad to meet you."
15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.
16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.
17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.
18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"
19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut them off by saying, "No it isn't!"
20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow! That was a good one!"
21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, or a beep.
22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.
23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asked what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."
24. Spell every single word as you read it.
25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.
26. Act like you're picking your nose. And eating it.
27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit.
28. Sneeze a lot.
29. Hold your book right next to your eyes.
30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down.
31. Stand up, and continue reading.
32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it.
33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.
34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon. Then dig in messily, and crunch on it.
35. Ask them, "Got milk?"
36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. But be able to pronounce hard words.
37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again.
38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.
39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.
40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look like you're attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead.
41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to spray it into your mouth.
42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.
43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.
44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"
45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG!!! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!"
46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what you did last summer."
47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords.
48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened.
49. Start singing "This is the song that never ends. . ."
50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose count every ten or so.
51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then say to the person next to you, "I took singing lessons!"
52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, "Hey! How ya doin'? That's great, me too."
53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer!
54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, "I have mail!!"
55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, "I measure sock by thickness!"
56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards. When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages.
57. State proudly that you have been to the 'other' side. Give no explanation.
58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back up like nothing happened.
59. Collapse on the floor. Then get up like nothing happened. When the person next to asked what is wrong, look at him/her with an inquiring look on your face, and say, "What do you mean?"
60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so weird." When they ask, "What?" say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back now."
61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say, "Never mind."
62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them as if you were electrocuting them, say, "BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!. . ."
63. Start arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to, say, "Your just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!!!"
64. Say, "Who's Freddie?" Then act like you didn't say anything.
65. Say, "Argh! My central nervous system in shot! Quick! Give me blue china!!!"
66. Introduce your self by saying, "Hi! I'd like a hamburger, and a green South America please." When they ask what your problem is, say, "Ohh, your not my fairy god mother? I'm sorry, he must have flown into the bookcases. Bye!" and run off.
67. Continuously rub a book while chanting, "Come out, come out. I know you're in there!" When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm calling the book genie out!"
68. Run up to them with a book, thrust it under their nose and ask, "Will you sign my autograph?!?" Make sure you say MY.
69. Get up onto the table, and start acting like a duck. When they ask what you're doing, say happily, "I'm roosting!"
70. Bring a bottle of glue and sniff it while counting down from a very high number. When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm counting my brain cells!"
71. Stick a 'kick me' sing on your back, and accuse them of putting it their.
72. Repeat every thing they say to you.
73. Ask them, "Have you ever had an orange juice bath?" When they look at you strangely, say, "What?"
74. Look up suddenly and yell, "Ohh no!" When they ask you what happened, say, "Nothing." Then do it again.
75. Stare accusingly at the other person, and when they look at you, say, "Where were you on the night of February 32, 1989?!"
76. Look at one page number, then a different one. They say in astonishment, "Wow! The page numbers are in order! Cool! They guy who came up with that musta been a genius!!
77. Glance over your shoulder every few seconds.
78. Maintain a look of horror constantly, but act normal other wise.
79. Say to him/her, "You have the right to remain silent!"
80. Pat your stomach and say, "Whoa. Human extremities do not settle well."
81. Get a child's book like "Green Eggs and Ham" and complain that there is no glossary.
82. Find a thesaurus and say in complete astonishment, "Wow! Did you know that 'affirmative' and 'yes' mean the same thing?"
83. Say, "Omph!" like you were just shot, and while smushing a ketchup pack on your chest, fall on the floor. Then get back up like nothing happened. After that, look at your stomach, and say, "What? How'd this stain get here?" while motioning to the ketchup.

25 fun things to do at the bowling alley

2004-08-20T23:12:00.000+09:30

25 fun things to do at the bowling alley

1. When you step up to bowl shout loudly that you need total silence

2. If some one asks you your average say, Im not average in any way.

3. Bring your dog and loudly insist, Scruffy rolls first!

4. Where one shoe.

5. If any of the people next to yell Strike! Respond by saying, Thems fightin words

6. Ask people what they average, regardless of their answer laugh hysterically.

7. Lie down in someones lane, when they tell you to move say, Ohh Im sorry, I wasnt aware you were the zcar of bowlingtown.

8. Throw the ball overhand

9. When speaking of a person who does not bowl, refer to them as a, damned dirty non-bowling hippy.

10. Steal everyones shoes and put them in a big pile, guard said pile with your life.

11. Pronounce the word as, bowlering.

12. Where a top hat and a monocle.

13. After the first ball you roll proclaim, This is marvelous, simply marvelous.

14. Insist that all odd frames are beer frames and insist that all even frames are, hash frames.

15. Every time you roll the ball yell, Take that you damn stupid pins!

16. Every time you hit a pin, apologize, and say you were drunk.

17. Insist that in the future all bowling will be done by robots.

18. Bowl backwards, if someone says your doing it wrong reply with, obviously youve never bowled in Europe.

19. Go alone, when you are assigned a lane say, Naw, I need two lanes, one lane cant hold me.

20. Insist on bowling an eleventh frame, and refer to as the, SuperFantasticFunTimeFrame

21. If you get a strike, attempt to do the splits.

22. When someone roles a gutterball say, better luck next time jerkface.

23. Refer to everything in the bowling alley as bowleriffic.

24. First talk to your bowling ball quietly, then argue with it loudly.

25. If you do badly say it was because you were, distracted by some fat lady. When you do well say it was because you were, inspired by some fat lady.

50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter

2004-08-20T12:28:00.000+09:30

50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15
minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some
gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long
answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the
integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's
left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate
your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm
SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk
the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly
say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to
every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are
you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max
level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to
refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of
relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the
country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into
very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry
Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam.
Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your
head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as
vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make
one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking.
Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be
taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let
them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of
the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to
another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,
start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If
it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE.
etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers
completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down
violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the
instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving
after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point
during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why,
tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on
above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put
on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera"
until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the
class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you
belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to
take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say
"you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our
Lives is on!!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore
the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to
leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the
River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you
could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most
equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life
story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and
shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the
exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious...
like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just
failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with
the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they
do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you.
Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent
to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90
degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are
asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student
Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical
instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"

50 Fun Things For Non-Christians To Do In Church (no offence to any christians)

2004-08-20T12:20:00.000+09:30

Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

Put stray dogs in coat closets.

Un-tune the piano.

Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".

Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"

Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows, hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would you rather be stoned or crucified?"

Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.

Start a wave.

Do cool things with the lighting.

When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G. Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.

When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"

Make up your own words to the songs.

Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out quickly.

Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.

If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL IT!!!"

Dress all in black, or in camo.

Pierce the body of a tiny animal with stainless-steel wire. Wear it in your ear as jewelry. If you are male, wear two. Change sets for the evening service.

If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress instead.

At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes. Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.
Place blocks of dry ice near the air ducts. Take off your shoes and socks.

Hide near the baptismal pool with a block of sodium. At the first mention of "fire and brimstone", throw it in.

Inflate balloons, then send them off.

Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far Side cartoons.

Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page.

Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.

Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.

During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They ruled the earth over 65 million years ago."

Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor. Discreetly light them.

Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned, especially Stephen.

Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate on how good it is.

When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number.

Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of me," and lick them.

Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!"

Blow bubbles.

Fake a possession.

Distribute condoms.

Speak in tongues.

Ask where the nearest ashtray is.

Drool in the collection plate.

Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians. After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of Peleponnesians.

After a Catholic service, stand outside and tell Polish jokes. When someone points out that Pope John Paul II came from Poland, act embarrassed.

Show unusual interest in any reference to the word "Ministry".

At a church supper, bring a casserole with a ring or piece of a wristwatch embedded inside.

Overnight, have the stained-glass windows replaced with new ones depicting comical, erotic, or death-related imagery. Send the bill to the pastor.

Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon you!!!"

Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address of the church next Saturday at midnight.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

2004-08-20T12:10:00.000+09:30

The Top 100 Things I'd DoIf I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

100 things to do during a boring lecture (just for you leon)

2004-08-20T12:05:00.000+09:30

100 Fun Things to Do During a Boring Lecture

Bring a blowhorn. Use it when you ask or answer a question.

Heckle the professor.

Hire a video crew to come to the class. If asked about it, say that you have to tape the lecture for a friend.

Bring a water gun. Shoot the professor when his back is turned.

Get the other students in your row to do the wave.

Bring a small chalkboard to class. Ask the professor if you can borrow his chalk to take notes.

Contradict everything the professor says. Offer irrefutable scientific proof.

If it's a math lecture, claim that the professor misspelled pi.

When the professor asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls on you, point to someone in the next row and say "He knows." Pick a different person each time.

Buy a doll. When you go to class, leave the doll in your chair, along with your notebook and pen.

Say that you have an important meeting to go to, and that the doll will be taking notes for you.

Bring a typewriter. Use it to take notes.

Write a love note. Sign it "a secret admirer". Get someone to pass it to the professor.

Get up to go to the bathroom five or six times during the class. Change clothes every time.

While taking notes, write vulgar words every few lines. If anyone asks, say you have Tourette's syndrome.

Buy a watermelon. Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say "They were out of apples."

Bring a small tape player. Play a tape of the previous lecture. Take notes on both.

If it's an English class, ask how the theory of relativity relates to Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream".

Pretend to be asleep until five minutes before the end of class. Then wake up and explain that you missed the lecture, and ask the professor to summarize what he/she talked about.

Bring a can of spray paint. Use it to take notes on the classroom wall.

Bring a fully-stocked picnic basket to class. Explain that you didn't have time to eat breakfast.

Wear a loincloth to class. If anyone asks, say that it is your costume for the school play, and you didn't have time to change out of it.

Tear out pages of the textbook and make little origami animals out of them. Have a whole menagerie by the end of class. Give them to the professor as a token of your esteem.

Bring a fishing rod. Try to catch things on the professor's desk.

Bring a tape player and a tape of a thunderstorm. Keep it hidden. Sometime during the lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has angered the gods and leave. Watch to see how many students follow you after the tape starts playing.

Make reserved seating cards and place them on the desks before class.

Tell the professor you are on a new experimental cold medication that may have strange side effects. Every ten minutes or so, run around the room screaming. Afterward, claim that you have no memory of what just happened.

Claim that you are the new student teacher, and that you are to give the lecture for that class. If the professor agrees, lecture on a subject completely opposite the to subject of the class. If the professor objects, say that the students should have a wide range of knowledge.

Switch the professor's lecture notes with your history notes from last term.

Raise your hand and ask when the movie is going to start.

Bring a flash camera. Take pictures every few minutes, using a very bright flash. If anyone complains, say that you didn't see any sign saying you couldn't bring cameras.

Bring a light bulb. Hold it over your head whenever you have the answer to a question.
Bring an easel and a paint set. Paint a portrait of the professor during the lecture. Say that it is a homework assignment for art class
Sneeze very loudly. Then, have the person next to you sneeze, then the person next to him, and so on. See how long it takes before the professor sneezes.

When the professor comes in, say, very loudly, "Hey! A substitute! All right!" Claim that the real professor said you could have lecture outside.

Come to class wearing the same outfit as the professor. Call the professor a copycat.
If it's a geology lecture, switch the quartz crystals with New Folger's Crystals and see if the professor notices. Have a hidden camera.

Hide a ticking clock under the podium. Call in a bomb threat.

Write your assignment on Plato on your little sister's modeling clay.

Ask questions in a foreign language you know the professor doesn't know. Act angry when he/she doesn't understand you.

Come to class dressed as a professional wrestler. Tell people you joined the wrestling team. Bodyslam anyone who doesn't believe you.

When the professor comes in, suddenly scream, "NOOOOOO! Not him! Not professor Johnson!! They let him teach again! Noooooooooo!" then run out of them room. See how many people follow you.

Turn your row into a mosh pit.

Before class starts, turn all the desks upside down. Sit on them like you would normally.
Two words: American Gladiators.

Make requests like people do at rock concerts. ("Relativity! Relativity! Einstein rocks!")
Bring popcorn. Throw it and the professor. Complain that these trained animal shows aren't what they used to be.

Bring a tape player and a tape of the school bell. Play it every 15 minutes.

When the professor calls on you, mumble inconprehensibly. Answer every question in this fashion. See how long it takes before the professor stops calling on you.

When you take a test, hire a security guard to stand by your desk and make sure no one cheats off your paper.

Make up a strange religious cult and distribute flyers for it during class. If it is a religious studies class, complain that your cult was not included in the textbook, and demand that they get a new one.

Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"

Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.

Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.

Sit in the front and color in your textbook.

When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".

Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.

Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.

Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.

Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.

Sing your questions.

Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.

When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."

Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.

Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you've done so.

Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".

Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.

Stare continually at the professor's crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
Address the professor as "your excellency".

Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.

Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.

Ask whether you have to come to class.

Present the professor with a large fruit basket.

Bring a "seeing eye rooster" to class.

Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become aggitated when the professor can't understand you.

Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
Watch the professor through binoculars.

Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.

Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.

When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"

Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.

Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.

As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so anyway.

Claim that you wrote the class text book.

Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.

Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.

Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for "stud".

Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"

Disassemble your pen. "Accidently" propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.

Wink at the professor every few minutes.

In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.

Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.

Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.

Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of ancient Greek trade routes down farther because you can't see Macedonia.

FIRED! ... yes!

2004-08-12T09:52:00.000+09:30

hey
sry i haven't like updated this thing in like forever but nothing all that interesting has been hgappening well as you can probably tell i got fired form my job ( i work(ed) at angelo street markets since like feb now and i was a box boy which really suked) ) which despite what many people may think i am not angry, or sad but i am quite happy. see i had this hell bad job well i guess the pay was good but like i didn't like the stuff that i was told to do and i don't think that the boss really liked me anyway. so in which case i got all the shit house jobs anyway i have been sick for like ages now but it has sudden'y got quite a bit worse so my mum thought that it wasn't such a good idea that i go to work (btw it is cold and rainy today) coz it might make it worse so i called in to my boss and i told him my scenario and he said that i was trying to bull shit him(those are his actuall words btw) and i said that i was fair dinkum, so he said FINE! and went. like 30secs later i got a call and he said this.. "look, don't bother in coming in to work anymore, because if your heart isn't in it then i don't want you here anymore" and i said "fair enough" and then he hung up and i was so relieved. see for those of you who don't know which would be nearly everyone i have been thinking of a way to quit but you see i have to give a weeks notice and that is annoying plus they kept telling me to see this other guy that hardly comes in so i figured that if i get fired i didn't have to take the weeks notice if i didn't want to so it's like quitting on the spot so now i have my monday and wednesday nights free to do all the hmwk and t.v. watching that hav ebeen missing out on since the star of february!!!!!!!!

so this is really good news as you have probably guessed so yeh that is all i have to report on at the moment untill i find another job which is more fun and enjoyable... i think i might apply at like a fast food outlet or i think gelare (ice cream shop) had a sign up saying help wanted!!!

100 wiked ways to order a pizza

2004-07-29T14:49:00.001+09:30

If using a touch-tone phone, hit random numbers. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
Make up a charge card name. Ask if they accept it.
Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
Use CB lingo where applicable.
Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
Answer their questions with questions.
In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
Stutter on the letter "p."
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask what the order taker is wearing.
Crack your knuckles into the reciever.
Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then act as if they called you.
Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
Change your accent every three seconds.
Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
Rent a pizza.
Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
Imitate the order taker's voice.
Eliminate verbs from your speech.
When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
Play a sitar in the background.
Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Ask to see a menu.
Quote Carl Sandberg.
Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
Psychoanalyze the order taker.
Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
Report a petty theft to the order taker.
Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
Try to talk while drinking something.
Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
Ask about pizza maintainance and repair.
Be vauge in your order.
When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
Put them on hold.
Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
Haggle.
Order a one-inch pizza.
Order term life insurance.
When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
Engage in some serious swapping.
Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
Order a steamed pizza.
Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

65 Things to Do on a Long Airplane Ride

2004-07-29T14:49:00.000+09:30

1. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it
2. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar
3. Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, anounce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places
4.Run down the aisle screaming,"He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!"
5. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed
6. Fly into a rage whenever the word "Gallstone" is mentioned
7. "Accidental" soda spill on the dork next to you.
8. Go up to someone and ask loudly if they wouldn't mind applying Preporation H to your hemrrhoids
9. Tap at the windows, saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they have a bat you could use to test.
10. Disco dance in the aisle
11. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends
12. Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't"
13. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
14. Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you
15. Try to lead plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"
16. Lead a revolt against the first class passengers
17. Attempt to promote Hinduism among passengers
18. Moon passing Delta planes
19. Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane
20. Start a hot dog stand
21. Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it
22. Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes
23. During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone
24. When two people kiss in the film, belch real loud
25. When there's any nudity, say "Hey! He/she must be real cold!"
26. Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that afternoon
27. With the person next to you, discuss cannabilism among airline crash passengers on deserted islands
28. Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put superglue in your undies that morning
29. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you
30. No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni
31. Show off your Batman underwear
32. Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only)
33. Switch accents and see if anyone notices
34. During the meal, loudly explain that on time you ate shark fin soup and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark on the other passengers
35. Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm
36. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die
37. Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head
38. Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger
39. Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e"
40. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world
41. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face
42. Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it
43. Listen to James Brown on your Walkman, sing along (especially the "Oooh Oooh" parts)
44. Snort when you laugh
45. Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same
46. Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices
47. Sing that irritaing song that starts like this "I lost my car on the rooooooaaddd an' I'm cryin' over yooooouuuu...."
48. Recite all you can of the last Ann Landers column
49. Hum the Monty Python theme song
50. Act like a movie star
51. Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason
52. Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"
53. With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Nevermind. Do you have any towels?"
54. Whip out your kazoo and give first class a special entertainment show
55. Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"
56. Bring a microphone and act like Frank Sinatra
57. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
58. Start talking Korean
59. If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off
60. Pretend you're flying the plane
61. With a fellow passenger, Re-enact the disco scene in "Airplane!"
62. Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang
63. Take over the plane with a toy gun
64. Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardesses there)
65. To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage

like i said on the other one some of them are lame but i think my favourite is the one where it sez if someone has a bad toupe then wack it off!lol i duno y i like these maybe i am just in a good mood

more stupid things but when your bored

2004-07-29T14:44:00.000+09:30

rewind dvd's after watching
answer the phone when it doesn't ring
shave your back
chew the food and put it back on the plate
steal from people when they see you do it
take other peoples medicine
let the tattooartist pick the motive
demand to show id when youre buying light beer
glue together 2 cd's and you get a double cd
smoke the filters
collect dandruff
hide in the woods under hunting season
put your clothes on in the shower to save time
ask unknown people on the bus if they trust you
keep your money in your mouth
eat onions instead of apples
max the brightness on the tv and watch it with sunglasses
tip the mailman
put youre face against the cookingplate to check if it's hot
change your eyedrops into superglue
become a catholic just so you dont have to use a condom
spy at your parents
steal from yourself
test lsd before youre driving test
start crying when people sneezes
only paint the inside of your nails
start a satanic kindergarden
try to become a latino
chew the food with your hands
install screensavers in your eyes
search for ways to become younger
forget to sleep
take a bankloan and buy lotterytickets
eat make-up to become beautiful inside
notify the firedepartment by postcard
send spammail to yourself
adopt a father
drink toxic acids just to get it started a little bit

well some of these were a little lame i admit but some of them were hilarious like the one about eatin make-up to becaome beautiful on the inside i mean for fuk sake!! lol lol lol!!!!

more fun things to do sept this time in the office at work

2004-07-29T14:36:00.000+09:30

20 Fun Things To Do When You're Bored At The Office

20. Play the game "Does my head fit in my desk drawer?"

19. Slowly turn and stare at the person who sits next to you. When they notice and look up, quickly look back at your computer screen. When they stop looking and go back to work, slowly turn your head again. Repeat.

18. Drink lots of water and see how long you can go without urinating.

17. At an unsupervised employee's computer, send porn to the entire company.

16. Only turn left for the rest of the day.

15. Practice spinning on your swivel chair until you achieve "the zone". Impress your colleagues with your turning tricks.

14. If the person next to you has action figures on his/her desk, make them do sex things. Draw speech bubbles on post-it notes and make them talk dirty to each other.

13. Find two computers that are back to back and switch the monitor connection on both of them.

12. Print all of your reports in size 20 Comic Sans font with 4cm margins.

11. Go to the toilet and cover your hands in soap and water then enter a cubicle. When someone arrives and have made themselves comfortable, see how many repetitive slapping slurping noises you can make before they leave.

10. Discover the limits of innocent flirting and sexual harrassment by referring to all females in the office as "Tits" and "Taco Pants". For bonus points try "Jizz Bucket".

9. Hide under your desk and start calling someone's name repeatedly, like you're trying to get their attention.

8. Pull people's headphones off as you walk past.

7. Discreetly pick a target in the office and throw small bits of screwed up paper at their head when they're not looking. Slowly increase the amount of paper until you're using a full scrunched A4 sheet. Slowly add more and more weight until you knock them unconscious or kill them.

6. Talk with a lisp. When people ask why you're talking with a lisp, get offended and tell them they're insensitive.

5. Declare yourself as the office Robin Hood and steal from people's change drawers/boxes/tins for your lunch when they're not around. And since you're the poor, just buy your lunch with it.

4. If somebody heads for the printer, beat them to it and start printing test pages. Examine them, say "Hmmm", and keep printing.

3. See how loudly you can say "penis" without anyone noticing.

2. Call meetings with 4 random employees. When they arrive, ask them if they've been having 'the dreams' aswell.

1. In the kitchen, mumble something about shooting everyone with a gun. If someone asks what you said, deny any knowledge of saying anything, then as you walk away mutter something about the apocalypse.

hope you guys like these i thought some of these were gr8!!!!!

Inspired by the prawn star

2004-07-29T14:27:00.000+09:30

Well
you see well I have this weird friend that likes to call himself 'prawn star' (refer to his site for details www.prawnstarcrackers.blogspot.com) anyway rite he has this post called 24 fun things to do in an elevator which I thought was hilarious which reminded me of this e-mail I got a while back so I recovered it and here it is 50 fun things to do in a public toilet!......

50 Things to Do In a Public Toilet

1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2. Complement people on their shoes.
3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.
4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....
6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7. Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"
8. Simulate a drug deal.
9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11. Start a sing-a-long.
12. Act schizophrenic.
13. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....
14. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
15. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"
16. Write 'nerdy' graffiti like "Please wash your hands. Thank you."
17. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.
18. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant.
19. Say "Oops.... Missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls.
20. Fake an orgasm.
21. At night, switch off the lights.
22. Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"
23. Collect a door charge.
24. Ask "Is there a doctor in the house?"
25. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing.
26. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python/axolotl.
27. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.
28. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.
29. Offer refreshments.
30. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.
31. Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"
32. Charge admission.
33. Electrify metal urinals.
34. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl.
35. One word: GOLDFISH.
36. Make a jelly in the bowl.
37. Place a sign advertising "Driver's side airbags" as standard.
38. Remove stall doors.
39. Glue seat and cover down to bowl.
40. Place signs warning of 24 hour video surveillance.
41. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.
42. Put itching powder on the toilet seats.
43. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.
44. Replace soap in dispenser with custard.
45. Completely soak the towel in the towel dispenser, or the paper towels if available.
46. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install.
47. Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).
48. In one stall, attach the toilet bowl to roof. (Advice for young players: Don't leave the water in while you do this....)
49. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.
50. CRAP!?!?!?!

Email me if you have any more things to add, or if you have any jokes, or just want to make fun of me, email me them too or write a comment anonymous comments welcome if your not a blogger yourself (I think).

lol i fucked up the second site

2004-07-29T13:53:00.000+09:30

wel
u see i had this first blog then i fuked it up by like deleting like evrything in it then i made a new one but still saving all of posts but this time i forgot the username and password but this time is different becasue i remembered it really good plus i wrote it down so i think that will helep a lot because i am normally really good at remembering passwords and the scripts from movies and shit but when it comes to things like trying to remember to study for a testr it is like virtually impossible to do for me anyway i a nut shell i fucked up the other two sites and i decided to do another one because i think it is fun blabbering about nothing to random people that may happen to view your site by accident or the fact that they give a shit enough about you to go your website well i guess if you are reading then i thank you because you are probably the only person to read this and probably the only to person to EVER read this and prawi you don't vcount because you are obsessed with this and btw don't forget to change the hyperlink on your website which btw noone go to because he is like hogging all of the people who actually bpother to go to people's website like this anyway so yeh and i would appreciate it if you would spen the time to make a comment but not one that says 'you are gay' because that is just pointless i would rather you saying something like that 'your site is good' por 'your site sux' rather than 'you are gay' becaus ei get that enough from school : :(
so yeh i guess that is it so yeh..
byebye